The Big Apps

A few weeks ago we took a little jaunt to NYC for MLK weekend. We had a really awesome time despite it being kinda chilly most days. I was being all spontaneous and suggested we leave a day earlier than we were going to, which was a really awesome idea until we got caught in a giant rainstorm on the way down. Leave it to me and my spontaneity.

Little trivia about me is that I spent one year living in the city for my freshman year of college and I really loved it. I forgot how much I missed that smog and subway people who offer free food. (Maddy was pissed I wouldn’t let her take a SARS banana).

Greg and I both are total city-dwellers, so this type of getaway is ideal for us. We chose one major museum/attraction to hit each day and then would just walk around that neighborhood the rest of the afternoon. It was a great way to fit in the educational or touristy things we wanted to do and then explore the city the rest of the time. We absolutely brought our stroller even though Maddy is six because we are not morons nor do we want to listen to Maddy complain about walking. There were definitely a couple times where she played on the phone while we enjoyed a leisurely stroll, and I don’t feel bad about it.

The first stop on the trip was the Museum of Natural History and it was awesome. If you are a parent, or just a human in general, I’m sure you’ve seen A Night at the Museum. We obviously had to find “Dum-Dum”, the dude who eats all the gum. Maddy kept asking us if we needed to bring gum for him and didn’t fully understand that the real statue did not chew bubblegum. Highlight of that day was that it was like 65 degrees outside and we spent the afternoon strolling around Central Park and landed on a pretty dope playground where I sat and watched Greg play hide-and-seek with Mads since I am taking full advantage of my pregnancy laziness.

We also took her to the Met (we chose the museums that had a suggested donation for admission because it seems like are surviving just fine without a full-price ticket from us). The night before we went we talked all about the mummies we would see the next day, and guess what her favorite part of the museum was? The fucking fountain that sat in the middle of the room that had no artistic value whatsoever. Sounds about right.

Overall the trip was really great and we can’t wait to go back in the summertime. Probably our favorite thing was the Empire State Building, although it was insanely windy. Maddy didn’t really understand how insane that view is, but she kinda appreciated it. It was more for us anyways though so I’m not too upset about that one.

Here are a few pictures of our weekend:

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(I only added this because incase you don’t follow me on snapchat, Greg thought this was something a girl would wear to the ‘game’.)

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 (UM HI, that banana pudding was unreal and I don’t know how to live without it)

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(Please appreciate my hoodrat hat)

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(Dancin’ in the middle of Times Sq. I love that she will dance anytime, anywhere. Greg obviously joined in)

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(My new favorite family picture. Love Greg’s blue steel look. WURKKKKK)

Happy Sunday!

Got To Be Real

I came across this article today when reading another mom blog and it really got me thinking about the business of not only being a mother, but being female in general. I’ll be straight up- being a chick can really suck sometimes. The level of perfectionism is so fuckin’ ridiculous and unattainable and it only has become worse with motherhood. Moms today are expected to be hot, pretty, hairless (except on their heads), manicured, smart, funny, career-driven (while also performing all the duties of a SAHM), immune to the common cold, interested in sports, good cooks, maintain a clean house, up to date on latest organic/natural trends in food and healthcare and whatever else that could apply to, social with friends on a regular basis, crafty, a playdate planner, someone who remembers things in general, and the list goes on.

I am not much of those things. For one, I don’t enjoy the gym. Two, I do not remember things. I will say that while I am not immune to the common cold I have become much better at dealing with is which is more than I can say for other members in my household (Greg).

So the article discusses the business of mom blogs and how they have created this false sense of reality for mothers who read the blogs. For example, one mother did a post on baking cookies and had the nanny take her kid away while she baked and then the nanny brought the child back in the kitchen for the picture at the end. Now I get why this would ruffle some feathers but honestly that is the smartest fucking idea I’ve ever heard because I have some real issues baking with Maddy since I can be a control freak. However, I totally get why this provides a false sense of reality for the reader and I promise to you all that the day I do a baking post with Maddy on this blog I will document every moment of aggravation.

After reading the article I decided I would do something that is super uncomfortable for me, but is consistent with the vibe of my blog, and that is posting pregnancy photos. I don’t have issues with pregnancy photos of other people, just myself. I am not a glowy pregnant woman who embraces the changing body. Do I like that I can eat more snacks and it won’t be as noticeable? Uh, duh. Do I like that I feel like an Oompa Loompa? NO. But I am going to share them because I want other women who are pregnant, or have been pregnant, to feel less uncomfortable and more connected. Every time I see a pregnant belly that is stretch-mark free and/or is a cute tiny little bump I want to punch that bitch in the face but also commend her for using coco butter regularly. (I use “bitch” as a term of endearment).

So here we go. Here are a couple pics of my “bump”. It’s not super cute or tiny (some woman told me I was huge the other day), and I have lots of stretch marks. But, there is a tiny baby boy inside there who kicks me on the reg and that is pretty cool in my opinion.

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(I also just want to add that I am very open about the fact that I have ZERO ass and this picture is scientific proof. Like look at that thing, there is NOTHING there. I was laughing after I took this. Pretty sure the Spice Girls song “When 2 Become 1” was written about my ass and my legs becoming one body part. Gonna go research Brazilian Butt Lifts brb).

Have a great weekend!

Marchin’ on a Saturday

It’s been a hot minute since I have posted on this blog and I do apologize to all my dedicated readers. I know how hard it must be to go without knowing what I have been up to and my latest thoughts.

I took Maddy to the Women’s March in Boston yesterday and figured I would share some pictures. I am not gonna get political on this blog but I figured that a march to celebrate women’s rights and overall equality isn’t really too revealing.

The T ride into the Commons was pretty fucking brutal. I brought my stroller because I didn’t feel like listening to Maddy complain later on that her feet were tired, and because I am pregnant and lazy. Since this was a march for women, no one was really too upset about my stroller on the subway. And even if they were they weren’t allowed to express that because we were there to celebrate women, so I could do whatever the fuck I wanted. So I am on the T, giant jogging stroller in tow, and it is jam packed. Couldn’t move, could hardly even breathe. So this dude comes on the train and squeezes himself behind me and essentially forced my body to a hovering position over the stroller. I tried taking my backpack off to allow for some extra circulation, but he was squeezed so closely on top of me I couldn’t even do that. Leave it to a dude to ruin a day for women. Thankfully Maddy started to rub my pregnant belly and basically announced to everyone on the train that I was with child, so all the women felt bad for me but the guy still didn’t ease up. (Ten bucks says that guy was not headed to the March).

The rest of the day was great. We met up with some friends and ate some pizza outside. The kids played in some grassy spot that was most likely filled with rat shit. It’s all good though, they had a great time. I tried to explain the significance of the event to Maddy and she sorta, kinda, didn’t really get it at all. I told her one day she could tell her grandchildren she attended this historic event, to which she replied “But mom I don’t have any grandchildren”. Well I tried.

Here are some pictures from the afternoon:

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(Maddy had to make sure we included her granola bar in the picture).

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I hope you all had a great weekend. We are currently watching the football games and I just told Greg I needed to put my feet up (he was hogging the ottoman) because I am pregnant and his response was “Not today you’re not”. Gotta love playoff season.

Have a great Sunday!

Pregnancy Joys

So incase you didn’t watch the video I posted a few days ago (rude), I am pregnant.

I am not one of those women who enjoys being pregnant. I love the little prize that comes at the end, but I am all set with the pregnancy part and really feel that its an inconvenience to women (but lets be real I love that I get to do something that Greg is physically incapable of doing). It is really hard for me to believe when women tell me they enjoy being pregnant, like actually ENJOY it. Nope, it’s just not true. I deny that woman her own opinion.

Don’t get me wrong, the whole baby part is great. Babies are so cute! Especially your own. Nothing is cuter than your own baby. I can’t wait to meet my little dude and be all smitten with him and shit. But being pregnant is not for me and I fully admit to this without shame and/or guilt. The whole “Stork” thing sounds really great lately and that is a story I can get behind.

Since I love lists, here is a list of things I do not enjoy about being pregnant.

  • Getting fat.

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  • When people are like “Oh you’re pregnant?”

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Yeah I’m fuckin pregnant I’m not just fat but thanks for NOT making me feel like I maybe looked thinner a few months ago.
  • Not Sleeping. 

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  • Peeing 348758763486 times a day. 

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(No I haven’t peed my pants but you get the idea).
  • Eating when I’m not even hungry because I don’t want to call it a missed opportunity. 

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(This doesn’t sound like something someone would hate but after a while it just doesn’t feel good anymore. Example: I ate Chipotle for dinner tonight and got home and ate a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch because it was there/I bought it earlier).
  • Pregnancy Brain.

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(That’s me^).

This is all I could come up with for now and I’ll be sure to alert you all to new discoveries as they occur. I know you’ll all be at the edge of your seat waiting. I’ll just leave you with this last image of me so you don’t think I am a total pregnancy-scrooge:

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Greg is so lucky to have such a famous, beautiful, happy, woman by his side isn’t he?

A Snowday on a Saturday

My Saturday morning started off with a missing hockey skate. No, it wasn’t Maddy’s hockey skate that was missing, it was Greg’s. Somehow Greg lost ONE hockey skate, which I really do not understand. Where could ONE hockey skate go? It would be pretty obvious if it fell when he was walking to/from his car, as hockey skates are pretty heavy. It would be pretty obvious if he had left the sharpening place with ONE skate instead of the two he dropped off, but we called them and they didn’t have one lone skate laying around looking for it’s brother. After what felt like a ZILLION years went by while looking for this skate, accompanied by intense amounts of stress and so many feelings of resentment on my end, the skate was not found. However, Greg did have a backup pair to use, and I really couldn’t tell you why we just didn’t fucking resort to that option sooner.

Greg, I love you (so very much), but please buy leashes and GPS collars for all your shit because I am losing my shit over your lost shit.

Before heading to Maddy’s hockey practice, I obviously had to make a stop at Dunks. I arrived at the rink with my large iced (skim milk, four splenda), happy as can be now that I have my fix, and then the worst possible thing imaginable happened. I knocked my coffee over, spilling and splattering everywhere. DONE. GONEZO. NO MAS CAFE.

Dude, it was rough. Someone who worked at the rink told me not to worry about the mess. Like I gave a fuck about the mess. My coffee was GONE. I don’t think its necessary to elaborate any further.

So to make a long story even longer, I got over it (barely) and watched my little girl kick ass on the ice. I love watching her play hockey, probably because I played for so long, so it’s sorta selfish but in a good way. After practice I obviously had to go back to Dunks and get a new coffee, which took legit 20 minutes because the storm was coming and people in Boston lose their shit if Dunks becomes unavailable for any reason.

Despite a really annoying first half of my day (due to fake problems like Dunkin Donuts), the rest of the day worked itself out. When we got home Maddy asked me to go play in the snow with her. Somehow I agreed to this. Usually I load her up in her snow clothes and throw her outside because I am not six and I don’t really enjoy being cold and playing in the snow. I literally have NO idea why I agreed to go out with her, but I wasn’t about to fight a good thing happening. When those moments come up where I genuinely don’t mind playing with my child, I try and run with it.

I couldn’t fit into my snow pants because I am six months pregnant (I had to wear Greg’s overalls and even then I couldn’t zip them). Since I am kinda (really) lazy and didn’t want to walk anywhere to go sledding, I covered the stairs with extra snow and she just sled down those. We spent about a half hour doing that and luckily there were no injuries so I can chalk the whole thing up to a successful experience for all parties.

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We ended the day with some painting, leftover mac and cheese, some random tiny thing of ice cream Maddy somehow found in the back of the freezer, and a kids movie where she passed out halfway through (is there anything better?). I should also note that I was craving the meatloaf I had made last night, but there was none left. So I decided to just whip that up real quick, and as expected, it was delicious. Sometime I amaze myself with how good of a cook I am.

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So are snow days with children great? No. They aren’t. You actually have to do shit and occupy them because for some really weird reason they don’t enjoy do absolutely nothing/napping all day. But they can turn out to suck less sometimes, like today. I have to remind myself that one day she will be old enough to go play with her friends on her own on days like this and how happy that will make me, for very selfish reasons.

I hope you enjoyed your snow day and found something decent about it. If not, just be grateful your significant other didn’t wake you up at 7AM on a Saturday looking for one fucking lost hockey skate.

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“Dog”. An Original Madelyn Moscatel. 2017. Oil on Canvas. (Not freehand)

 

A Little Announcement-

We have a little announcement to share with everyone! I decided to share the announcement in a video that I posted below. I am still learning quite a bit about making little movies on the computer but I actually like that they are kindof rough around the edges because it’ll just make for a good documentary when I win my first Oscar in a few years. I don’t look my best in this video, but again, I don’t really care. This blog is intended to be real and I don’t look my best 90% of the time, so why try and sugarcoat it? Contrary to popular belief, I am not Kylie Jenner, so my face isn’t gonna look like hers (unfortunately).

I hope you enjoy the little video!

Two Lists, One Bitch

If my blog were a late-night variety show, the title of this post would be a regular segment. One list is for things/people/experiences that have annoyed me lately, the other list is for the opposite. I could probably list over 100+ things for each list but I don’t want to be a total asshole and I also don’t want to take up too much of your time. It’s meant to be funny, and if I offend anyone then I feel my job is done.

5 Things that really Grind My Gears:

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  1. The woman who thought it would be a great idea to bring hot, mall-purchased, Chinese food (complete with some type of fish) to the kids indoor playground and inflict the smell/vision of her licking her chops on all humans present. (I LOVE Chinese food but not from the mall and not at an indoor park. Let me gorge myself in private please).
  2. Pine Needles EVERYWHERE from the tree that I stopped watering after Christmas but refuse to take down yet.
  3. The Common Cold that wouldn’t have attacked me if I didn’t have a gross 6 year old living in my house. Why must all children be disgusting germ buckets?
  4. When Maddy steals the scissors and cuts into our ice pack that I just bought, so it leaks and becomes totally useless. WTF.
  5. Laundry.

 

5 Things that really Rev My Engine:

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  1. Dunkin Donuts. Always. Forever.
  2. My girl at Dunks who was genuinely concerned about me and my cold.
  3. Clementines.
  4. Using the cold/”it’s vacation” excuse to order basically every meal out in the past week.
  5. Going to see “Sing” with Greg and Mads on NYE morning. That movie was so fucking cute and also I definitely cried a few times. No shame.