Two Lists, One Bitch

If my blog were a late-night variety show, the title of this post would be a regular segment. One list is for things/people/experiences that have annoyed me lately, the other list is for the opposite. I could probably list over 100+ things for each list but I don’t want to be a total asshole and I also don’t want to take up too much of your time. It’s meant to be funny, and if I offend anyone then I feel my job is done.

5 Things that really Grind My Gears:


  1. The woman who thought it would be a great idea to bring hot, mall-purchased, Chinese food (complete with some type of fish) to the kids indoor playground and inflict the smell/vision of her licking her chops on all humans present. (I LOVE Chinese food but not from the mall and not at an indoor park. Let me gorge myself in private please).
  2. Pine Needles EVERYWHERE from the tree that I stopped watering after Christmas but refuse to take down yet.
  3. The Common Cold that wouldn’t have attacked me if I didn’t have a gross 6 year old living in my house. Why must all children be disgusting germ buckets?
  4. When Maddy steals the scissors and cuts into our ice pack that I just bought, so it leaks and becomes totally useless. WTF.
  5. Laundry.


5 Things that really Rev My Engine:


  1. Dunkin Donuts. Always. Forever.
  2. My girl at Dunks who was genuinely concerned about me and my cold.
  3. Clementines.
  4. Using the cold/”it’s vacation” excuse to order basically every meal out in the past week.
  5. Going to see “Sing” with Greg and Mads on NYE morning. That movie was so fucking cute and also I definitely cried a few times. No shame.


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