Got To Be Real

I came across this article today when reading another mom blog and it really got me thinking about the business of not only being a mother, but being female in general. I’ll be straight up- being a chick can really suck sometimes. The level of perfectionism is so fuckin’ ridiculous and unattainable and it only has become worse with motherhood. Moms today are expected to be hot, pretty, hairless (except on their heads), manicured, smart, funny, career-driven (while also performing all the duties of a SAHM), immune to the common cold, interested in sports, good cooks, maintain a clean house, up to date on latest organic/natural trends in food and healthcare and whatever else that could apply to, social with friends on a regular basis, crafty, a playdate planner, someone who remembers things in general, and the list goes on.

I am not much of those things. For one, I don’t enjoy the gym. Two, I do not remember things. I will say that while I am not immune to the common cold I have become much better at dealing with is which is more than I can say for other members in my household (Greg).

So the article discusses the business of mom blogs and how they have created this false sense of reality for mothers who read the blogs. For example, one mother did a post on baking cookies and had the nanny take her kid away while she baked and then the nanny brought the child back in the kitchen for the picture at the end. Now I get why this would ruffle some feathers but honestly that is the smartest fucking idea I’ve ever heard because I have some real issues baking with Maddy since I can be a control freak. However, I totally get why this provides a false sense of reality for the reader and I promise to you all that the day I do a baking post with Maddy on this blog I will document every moment of aggravation.

After reading the article I decided I would do something that is super uncomfortable for me, but is consistent with the vibe of my blog, and that is posting pregnancy photos. I don’t have issues with pregnancy photos of other people, just myself. I am not a glowy pregnant woman who embraces the changing body. Do I like that I can eat more snacks and it won’t be as noticeable? Uh, duh. Do I like that I feel like an Oompa Loompa? NO. But I am going to share them because I want other women who are pregnant, or have been pregnant, to feel less uncomfortable and more connected. Every time I see a pregnant belly that is stretch-mark free and/or is a cute tiny little bump I want to punch that bitch in the face but also commend her for using coco butter regularly. (I use “bitch” as a term of endearment).

So here we go. Here are a couple pics of my “bump”. It’s not super cute or tiny (some woman told me I was huge the other day), and I have lots of stretch marks. But, there is a tiny baby boy inside there who kicks me on the reg and that is pretty cool in my opinion.

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(I also just want to add that I am very open about the fact that I have ZERO ass and this picture is scientific proof. Like look at that thing, there is NOTHING there. I was laughing after I took this. Pretty sure the Spice Girls song “When 2 Become 1” was written about my ass and my legs becoming one body part. Gonna go research Brazilian Butt Lifts brb).

Have a great weekend!

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