Why Having a Newborn Sucks

Before I dive in, I just want to share that I began writing this post three weeks ago on my phone while sitting through Maddy’s swim lesson. It’s was a time where both children were occupied (Jack was snoozin) and my brain actually remembered that I have a blog and it might need some attention. I have a feeling a great majority of my future posts will be started on my phone while sitting at some type of child-focused event.

So anyways, having a newborn sucks. And I really do mean that in the most loving way possible so don’t get all judgey and assume I don’t love my baby. I fuckin love that baby. But how else can one describe a life in which they find themselves waking up three times a night only to have their tits sucked on? Does that sound like a good time? (As I write that last sentence I realize for some, 3x a night of tit sucking may actually sound like a good time in a different context. Sorry mom if you’re reading this).

You all know I love a good list, so here is a list of 5 reasons why having a newborn sucks.

Lack of Sleep

The sleep deprivation that accompanies newborn life is just one very long game of Russian Roulette. We keep pulling that trigger until one of us has a break with reality. So far I’ve been the winner.

Hormones. Everywhere.

You might think this one only applies to the mother, but if you ask Greg (or any spouse/partner/roommate/human being in the general vicinity of a woman who just gave birth) you will quickly learn all parties are affected by postpartum hormones. They are intense. They are inconvenient. They are irrational. For example, I’ve found myself bawling at “The Voice”, and then raging mad about leftover toothpaste in the sink. There is no in between. There is no safe space.

Personal Hygiene (Or lack there of)

Okay so I am not a smelly person in general, and I have not let myself go to the point that I’m in need of an intervention. But I love a hot shower and my daily shower/occasional two-a-days are long gone. I’m onto an every other day situation and dare I say I may have gone three days in a row without a good rinse sometime in the last eight weeks. Deodorant and dry shampoo are saving my life and those around me. I’ll add that I haven’t had a haircut in the last five months so my hair is just throw into some type of messy bun, and combined with the irregular showering, I just look more homeless than usual.


Jack is not the hungry one, I am. They say that when you’re breastfeeding you need 500 extra calories a day. I cannot find the time or energy to eat real meals. The closest I’ve gotten to a real meal in the last week is apples with almond butter. (By the way if you haven’t tried almond butter you really need to). I keep Pinteresting meal prep ideas but those little meal prep elves seem to have forgotten my address.

General Overwhelm-ness

I think the hardest part of newborn life is how overwhelmed I am at any given moment but somehow my legs haven’t given out yet. How do people function on a physiological level when they have a new baby?! I am doing it and I don’t understand. The word “function” is a pretty relative term for me, as I’ve just shared that I’m close to having a break with reality, I’m crying over TV singing competitions, I’m somewhat smelly, and I consider a toddler snack a real meal.

Other moms out there: please share any tips you’ve gathered along the way. Unfortunately I cannot afford a night nurse like Debbie from “Shameless” so I need options that don’t include starting an illegal business for funding.

I will close with the fact that I think the only reason why parents make it through this phase is because we are just so in love with our new little bundles of love. While the logistical changes to my life sucks, the overwhelming amount of love that consumes me on a daily basis is fuel to keep my kid alive.

And here are a few pictures!

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Either making the “OK” sign or he is just very Italian.
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Attempt at a picture of the three of us. Captured J’s double chin well. 

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Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

14 thoughts on “Why Having a Newborn Sucks

  1. Hi! Mom of two here. I have two beautiful daughters, a one year old (as of today to be exact) & a 5 week old. I agree with every topic on your list, and I have a few suggestions!

    First, have you tried supplementing with formula at night? I was forced to with my first daughter & she immediately started sleeping better. I’ve been doing this with my second daughter and it’s saved me from 3 times waking up to just two times. (I know that doesn’t sound like much, but the difference in an hour & a half of sleep compared to 3 hours in a row is life changing.)

    Second, switch off nights of getting up with the baby. My husband and I switch off on the nights he doesn’t have work the next morning so that I can sleep through the night and not turn into a zombie. It really is rejuvenating to get 6 plus hours without interruption. (Plus it also gives the hubby a real life look into what we go through.)

    Third, bottle feeding right before bed. My doctor told me this can help too, because babies will eat a bit more with a bottle than the breast, causing the baby to be more full. More full babies means more hours before they are back on the boob!

    Fourth, I just wanted to say I love your blog! I’m friends with Karlyn and she put me onto it! Reading it helps me feel like I’m not alone & you are fantastic at being a real mom with real feelings!

    (I should mention that, I’m writing this at 4:37am with a baby on my tit. So this was a welcome read!)

    Best wishes for you & your adorable family! Good luck!


  2. Hi Kate, I will bring you a tray of lasagna. Where do you live?
    Also, Mark and I had a routine of me getting up and showering before he left for work everyday so he had some baby time each morning and I could rehumanize momentarily. Lastly, my babies slept in my bed and I nursed lying down and that decreased sleep
    deprivation slightly. Oh yeah and The Voice is profoundly moving and toothpaste in the sink is a crime against humanity so you’re on point there.

  3. I’m not a Mama jet (or will be any time too soon) but this post is really lovely to read, thank you for sharing. And your lillte one is just adorable, congratulations:) xxx

  4. Your baby is so cuuuuuttee! I love all that hair!!!! But you’re right! While there are many beautiful, wonderful things about babies, you forget about all the negatives until you’re in the trenches of no sleep, no food, and no showers. This actually helps my baby fever a little bit! haha!

    1. Just trying to keep it real! Thank you for reading and I’m glad you enjoyed it. You will feel all the same feels when you’ve got one of your own!! The good and the bad 🙂

  5. Having a newborn can suck! But my son is 18 months and I miss it so bad!! I would go back for some snuggles if I could :).

    1. Oh Elizabeth I am not taking those snuggles for granted! But there are always snuggles to be had no matter what age 🙂 18 months is no cake walk but all ages have their ups and downs. Thanks for reading!

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