My Skincare Faves

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If you knew me anywhere between the ages of eleven and eighteen, I truly apologize. My skin was so oily and gross that one boy actually asked me why my forehead was so bumpy. Since I had a major crush on him, that comment made me feel really great about myself.

It took a long time for me to establish any type of skincare routine. I also hate that term, skincare routine, it’s another asshole sayings in my opinion. Like I am not being featured in a magazine, I need to relax. But nonetheless, it has happened. I am officially old enough to realize the importance of taking care of my skin.

I’ve dabbled with a bunch of different products. Some helped, some not so much. Over the last few years I’ve received compliments on my skin and every time I hear it I make the Taylor Swift surprise face. Me, the chick who was asked why my forehead looked like a bubbly slice of pizza, is now complimented on smooth and clear skin.

Since bloggers love to share their tips and tricks on random shit, I figured I would share some of the skincare products I use. I also threw in a few men’s products for all you dudes out there that read my blog. (And full disclaimer, if you purchase any of these products through the link on my page I will make like ten cents. The holidays are coming people, help me buy Maddy another overpriced, underused Hatchimal).


Mask of Magnaminty

Mask of Magnaminty

This mask is seriously LIT. I decided to purchase it after it was mentioned in about ten different Buzzfeed articles, and I am so glad I did. It has changed my life. It is so refreshing and I’ve noticed a major improvement in my skin since using it. The best part? You can use it up to four times a week and it won’t dry out your skin. So you know I am meeting that quota.


Neutrogena Clear Pore Cleanser/Mask

Clear_Pore Cleanser Mask

This was one of the first masks I used that I loved. This shit literally peels all the disgusting off your face, and you feel every second of it. If you leave it on too long it burns, so I don’t recommend that. It also doubles as a cleanser and I use it for that all the time. For the mask, it’s better if you limit it to once or twice per week. More than that and you might start to look like Freddy.


Clean & Clear Dual Action Moisturizer

Dual Action Moisturizer

I discovered this moisturizer a while ago, and it’s my tried and true. This is really lightweight and I love that is kills two birds with one stone. Not much else to say, just know you won’t be disappointed.


Neutrogena On-the-Spot Acne Treatment

On the Spot Treatment

Confession: I like to pick at my pimples. Sometimes I want to let them go so I can get on that Dr. Pimple Popper website, but then I find myself puking so I quickly reroute. I’ve learned the hard way that when I pick at my pimples, especially those deep and painful ones, it leaves a scar. I use this cream when a new one creeps up. It dries it out and within a day or so is gone. Fuckin’ magic.


Grease Lightning

Grease Lightning

I admit I agreed to buy this because I am low-key obsessed with Grease. Turns out my instinct was spot on because this stuff is incredible. It’s a cleanser, but you don’t have to wash it off. Perfectly suited for my level of laziness. It literally makes your skin feels like as smooth as a baby’s ass. I am not making this up, I was just as surprised as you’ll be.


Bath & Body Works “Sleep” Shower Gel

Sleep Shower Gel

I got this as a Christmas present, and let me just say my uncle knows his way around Bath & Body Works. I love the consistency of this stuff and more importantly, the way it smells. I don’t know if I actually sleep better because of it but I do know that the placebo effect is worth the price. Whatever works people.


Bulldog Original Face Wash & Anti-Aging Moisturizer

Bulldog Face Wash

Bulldog Moisturiser

These two are for the dudes, or if you are a lady with man skin then have at it. I bought these products for Greg a few years back because he loves bulldogs and he likes clean and young-looking skin, so it seemed like a win-win. I was right. Guys, do not believe your skin doesn’t need attention. It does. Don’t get wrinkly.



So that’s my list. If you take anything away from this, it is to purchase the Mask of Magnaminty. Seriously, just do it. You will never look back.




Tattle Tales

I am all fucking set with tattletaling.

I would love to argue that this age-old childhood practice has reignited itself in the modern parenting era, where parents have picked up a second job as playground referee instead of parking our asses on the bench and enjoying a moment of “peace”. But I know that’s not true. We have all been guilty of tattletaling, whether we like it or not.

Maybe some parents don’t struggle with it as much as I do. I take Maddy to the park a few times a week, at least. Every single trip to the playground comes with a side of, “Um excuse me, Maddy’s mom, Maddy just did (fill in the blank)”.

I used to immediately call my daughter over and scold her for misbehaving. I used to punish her in front of her friends, embarrassing her. I would make it my mission to ensure the other moms at the playground knew I don’t take shit and my daughter is going to behave like a polite little girl.

And then something started happening after every trip to the park, after every playdate, that made a hole grow in my stomach. We would leave wherever we were, and she would ask me, “Mom, did I do okay? Was I good, Mom?”

I was so afraid of other mothers judging me that I passed my fears and insecurities onto my child. My daughter, who generally DGAF, started giving a fuck. And it broke my heart.

And for what? So nobody will think I’m a bad mom? So another kid will feel satisfied that I believed their story over my own child’s?

Do I have to shame my daughter in public so people will think I’m a good parent?

No, I don’t. And I refuse to do it anymore.

I refuse to take parenting advice from seven year olds. I refuse to accept that something is “wrong” with my daughter, when really she is just spirited and has a natural zest for life I secretly wish I had. Maybe, sometimes, that zest manifests itself in ways that aren’t appropriate for the setting. But that is for me to decide, not another child.

I’m not saying I don’t discipline my child. I absolutely participate in letting her know when her behavior is out of line. She’s still a kid, and I’m still her mother. I wouldn’t be doing her any favors if I let her walk through life thinking everything she says or does deserves a fucking parade.

But I am saying that I will choose to highlight the qualities that make her who she is. She has an unwavering joy, every single day. She is brutally competitive, and it’s either her best friend or her greatest enemy. (We are working on what situations do not warrant a melt down because she didn’t “win”. So far, still crying at lost games of UNO. Here’s hoping). She may be overzealous at times, but she is not a bully. She is inclusive, loving, and fiercely loyal to her friends and family. She is also one of the happiest people I know.

To some, those qualities could go either way. But I don’t care how other people feel about my kid. I care about how I feel about my kid.

So now, when other children come up to me at the playground and start tattling about something Maddy may or may not have done, I take a different approach. I nod my head and say, “Oh, thank you”. I let the other kid feel they were heard, and then continue on with my life. I will not call my daughter over and investigate the situation. This is not a legal case. We are not before a judge. I do not give a fuck about who allegedly cut someone in line for kickball.

And since I’ve started taking this new approach, my daughter no longer asks me if she was good or bad after we leave the park.  I’ll take it.


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Maine and Cape Cod

Since it’s literally the last day of summer, I figured it was the perfect time to share some pictures from the last leg of our vacation. I apologize to all of you who have already moved on to pumpkin spice lattes and apple picking. I’m still holding onto the very last bit of summer.

After New York, we headed up to Ogunquit for a week. The weather was perfect, the beaches were beautiful, and we even made it up to Old Orchard Beach one day. It was exactly what we were looking for: trashy, cheap, and fun. I took Maddy on a roller coaster, where she cried the entire time out of fear. And then immediately after the ride ended she turns to me and asks, “Mama can we go again?!”. Confusing? Sure. An expected response from my daughter? Absolutely. (Also little side note: about two weeks after we were there, I read an article in the Globe that the roller coaster we went on was being removed, and replaced with a newer model. It did feel a bit rickety while we were on it. Super stoked I took my seven year old daughter on an old, dying coaster).

After Maine we drove straight through to Cape Cod. Is there anything better than the Cape in the summertime? Or just the Cape in general? We had a really relaxing week, surrounded by family who were also down there. Greg and I even managed to fit a date night in! He surprised me and made reservations. Is this real life? Reservations?!?! Shout out to G for hooking it up.

Here are some pictures to check out. I hope everyone has made a smooth transition to real life again. After today we can officially buy the shit out of pumpkin everything and feel zero guilt.

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I love Maddy’s smile here, and how Jack is all set with the photo shoot. But Maddy’s smile is literal gold.
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And then I found this. In love.
Can we talk about how fucking cute the town of Yorke is?!


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FINALLY taught Maddy how to ride a bike without training wheels. It was a long time coming, shame on us, but whatever! It happened!

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Falmouth Sunrise.

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All these birds lined up before a storm hit the Cape and I just kindof loved it.


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Why I’m Not Married (Yet)

me and greg

One of the most common questions I get about my relationship, aside from how we met, (everyone thinks we met online because of our age difference) is, “are you going to get married?”


It’s a very reasonable question. Greg and I have been together for almost eight years, we have two children together, and we have lived together for the majority of our relationship. We share finances, we are on the same phone plan, I nag him about being disgusting and he nags me about throwing the entire contents of my closet on the bed when I get ready. The obvious trappings that make up a marriage. Oh and we are in love with each other, we are attracted to one another, and all that shit.


But before I get into all of this, let me preface by saying that we do want to get married someday. And I also want to clarify that I do not think people who want to get married, or who are married, are wrong! Because they aren’t! Because people can do and say and feel however the fuck they want!


But what about our relationship isn’t a marriage? Why is a wedding a “requirement” for a relationship such as ours? There would be no real difference to our lives except some nice jewelry and the added insurance and tax benefits. Does it make us more of a family? Does taking his last name make us more of a unit? In my opinion, those things are not reasons to get married. 


Sometimes the biggest incentive I have to for getting married is so I won’t have to say “my boyfriend” anymore. I sometimes refer to him as my partner, but I read somewhere that homosexual couples were the first to adopt that term for their significant others, and feel slighted when heterosexual couples use it. And I am not about to take anything away from the gays, they’ve worked too hard. Also, when I say “my boyfriend”, people assume that Greg is not my children’s father, so now I basically open with a monologue when I meet new people and say, “My boyfriend Greg, who the father to both my kids, we live together, we’ve been together for eight years”. It’s exhausting. 


I am constantly at odds about my feelings regarding marriage. Sometimes I feel like I should be married because it’s the norm, it’s expected. Sometimes I feel judged because I am not married, as if I am settling for a status that I don’t actually want but pretend to be comfortable with. Sometimes I feel like I am letting my daughter down because she has begun to ask when are we going to get married, and maybe she feels insecure about this and I need to remedy those feelings of unease.


After all of the doubts and insecurities wear off, I reflect on the reasons why this delayed wedding doesn’t bother me. It’s all very simple.


Greg is my best friend and I am very much in love with him. He loves me unconditionally and is a great father to our children. We are involved parents and share all the same values that are important to a committed relationship. We are excited about our future together and this family we have created. I feel so secure and loved every day. A ring on my finger won’t make me feel more in love with him.


When I think of all that mushy crap, I remind myself why I don’t really give a shit about when I’ll get married. Because I don’t need it. Because I already have what I am looking for and what’s next is simply an event to put a rubber stamp on it.


All this being said, I have our entire wedding planned already. I know my color scheme and the type of dress I want. I know I want a DJ over a band and I even have the menu planned out. Look, when you’re together eight years you have a lot of time to plan the wedding you are in no rush to have.


I want to get married to Greg. I want to declare my love for him in front of all our family and friends. I’m simply not in a rush to do it.


Like I said, the ring would just be a really nice piece of jewelry. Like really, really nice.


We just got home from a three week vacation and it’s been soooo long since I’ve updated on the blog! I “forgot” to bring my laptop, and by forgot I mean I actually forgot because I had to pack for four people and I also didn’t pack any socks for Greg but lets not get into that because its a touchy subject in our relationship right now.

Also quick question for other parents (mostly moms): do you pack for every member of your household? Somehow I have been plagued with the job of packing for Greg, usually because he is working while the packing gets done. But I always end up forgetting some important item (socks, boxers, shoes, energy drinks). Is there a way to overcome this? Probably a simple option would be having him pack his own shit. BUT IS THAT REALISTIC? Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

The first week of our trip was spent in NYC. We went to the city back in February (you can read that post here) and we couldn’t wait to come back in the warmer weather. I was a bit nervous before we left because Jack was going through a really awesome sleep regression and I wasn’t sure how it was going to play out over vacation. Turns out walking around for hours all tucked into the stroller was the best medicine. We ordered one of those “skateboards” for our stroller to break up all the walking for Maddy, but she is a trooper and we didn’t even use it that much. That chick is fully charged from sunrise to sunset and all the walking resulted in early bedtimes and sound sleeping. Total win for all parties.

Here are a bunch of pictures from our time in the city! Hoping to go back this fall.

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Jack was all set with Coney Island after a few hours. I also think he was pissed we wouldn’t let him eat a hot dog.
The day we chose to walk the High Line was also the day it rained. After a few arguments with Maddy we made the best of the situation and just walked through the rain.

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My good friend recommended the restaurant Malatesta in the village, and it was THE BEST MEAL OF OUR LIVES. Could not get enough. Trying to get them to deliver to Boston.


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We did one of those touristy boat cruises around the city and it was really cool. The tour guide was awesome and the views of the city from the boat can’t be beat.

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I found this picture on my phone and realized Maddy took it one day while we were in an uber. I thought it was a pretty good shot! Maybe she’s the next Ansel Adams.

Did you guys have a nice summer/vacation? Go anywhere fun? We also went to Maine and Cape Cod, so I’ll be posting those pictures soon.

Have a great weekend!


Funny Shit Maddy Says

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If you’ve never met Maddy, you should really figure out a way to hang out with her. Her schedule is jam-packed with camp, track, and Shopkins, but I bet you can work something out. When she’s not rolling her eyes at me, she really is riot. Sometimes I post our funny conversations on Facebook, and I get a lot of likes on those posts so I guess that means people like them. Nothing like Facebook likes to give you a boost of blogging confidence. So over the past month or so I’ve been writing down the funny shit Maddy says for all of you to enjoy.

(We’ve been reading Harry Potter)
Maddy: “Mom, I’m a wizard you know”.
Me: “Oh yeah?”
Maddy: “Yeah, I can move stuff with my eyes”.
Me: “Like what?”
Maddy: “The leaves on the trees”.
Me: “Show me”.
Maddy: (Walks over to the window. Wind is blowing. Leaves move).
Maddy: “See?”

“How many dollars is 30 dollars?”

(Talking about Katy Perry)
“Can I hear one of ‘Cherry Peppers’ songs?”

Maddy: “Dad, Dumbledore is sending me something in the mail soon”.
Greg: “Oh honey, that’s just a story”.
Maddy: “Dad you’re just a muggle”.

(Watching Beauty & The Beast)
Maddy: “Mom, I’m Belle and Lumiere”.
Me: “Yeah honey, I know”.
Maddy: “Yeah and you’re the clock”.

Me: “Maddy you have over $100 in your allowance”.
Maddy: “Yeah I know I’m saving up for a car”.
Me: “Oh yeah? Like a real car or a kid car?”
Maddy: “Like a Toyota”.

Maddy: “Mom how much does our hotel cost?”
Me: “What hotel? Do you mean our house? Do you think our house is a hotel?”
Maddy: “No it’s a museum”.


Does your kid say any funny shit? Or is this shit not really that funny and I’m just becoming one of those moms? If so, please tell me. I won’t be upset.

Have a great week!

Two Lists, One Bitch (Vol. 3)





5 Things that Really Grind My Gears

  1. People thinking Beyonce actually wrote her album “Lemonade” about her father cheating on her mother. Guys, no. Jay cheated on her and that obviously has been proven fact recently and I honestly couldn’t be happier. JAY CHEATED ON BEY AND SHE DIDN’T WRITE AN ENTIRE FUCKING ALBUM ABOUT HER DEADBEAT DAD.
  2. The girls at the pool today who were being mean to Maddy and I had to set them      straight. Also when one of them told me Maddy made them “almost drown” because she had to dive in the 4ft pool to get her toy. No.
  3. My Uber driver two weeks ago who was driving me to Lansdowne Street but had no idea how to get to Fenway. How are you an Uber drive in Boston and don’t know how to get to Fenway? I literally had to give him instructions.
  4. When I snapchat GirlWithNoJob and she doesn’t answer me. WTF Claudia?
  5. Jack’s recent sleep regression. Waking up a few times a night, or at 5am in general. Oh and when it was Greg’s turn to get up with him, he sleeps until 630. CMON DUDE.


5 Things that Really Rev My Engine

  1. Catching the sunrise this morning (pictures above) with my two little nuggets. I love a good sunrise. If Jack is gonna insist on waking up so early we might as well take advantage.
  2. When Maddy sat down ON HER OWN to snuggle with Jack and watch the sunrise. My little mama heart grows three sizes when she’s sweet like that.
  3. Jay Z releasing his album, confirming that he did cheat on Bey. This Jay/Bey situation has made both lists just because I am so fucking happy about it.
  4. The acai (not doing the accents on the letters, sorry) smoothies I have been making lately. Even if I think I sound like an asshole by saying “I make acai smoothies”.


(And one more because this moment just made me so happy).